Rhodochrosite with Quartz and Chalcopyrite - Boldut Mine, Maramures Co., Romania
(via tetraghost)
Source: fabreminerals.com
Is it weird that I cherish the subversive dream of being a white girl who raps on a ukulele?
Am I allowed to? I’ve always been good at talking fast and I’m starting to learn how to stay on key, but I’m not sure if appropriation can be ironic or not.
Source: blog.avisiblesignofmyown.com
Source: instagram.com
Natural Forms Wooden Clocks By AsymmetreeDesign On Etsy
I’ve always liked clocks.
I’m at that weird broody time in my mid-twenties that I want to build a home around me, a space that is safe and I can call my own.
When I do, there will be clocks.
(via lesstalkmoreillustration)
Reasons how - not why.
I’m watching 13 Reasons Why, even though I’ve spent the best part of a week convincing my sister not to.
But I thought that maybe I could watch it critically - as a work of fiction and social commentary that has managed to seep into our popular culture on a deeper level than many campaigns about suicide.
I haven’t finished it yet (like Clay, I need a break between tapes) but so far, I think they’ve gotten a lot of things right, and certainly contributed a lot of food for thought.
However, I do wonder how much they considered the impact of the series on survivors of depression and trauma. It’s also got me thinking a lot about blame, causation and personal responsibility.
We never really know what someone else’s truth is, and in many cases, it’s their own experiences of pain that have led them to where they are in life, and mediates how they are affecting others.
Brene Brown said something that struck me in a video that popped up on my Facebook this weekend. “I’ll never know if people are doing the best they can or not, but when I assume they are, it makes my life better.”
I think the interweaving narrative of respective characters and their motivations rings true to real life - it’s messy, nobody was perfect, everyone could have done more, but no one person could have known enough.
And yet Hannah gives each of them a tape. I respect her depiction as a flawed character. Although a lot of horrible things have happened to her, she had choices, and she could have acted differently too. Would you?
The biggest message I’m getting from the show is that when something feels wrong, looks for that one step that you can take. That one change. There is always one, even if it might take you a while to see it. If it looks small. If it takes courage.
What’s hit me as most real in all of it though is the hollow disempowerment and loss of agency over your own body that comes with repeated experiences of objectification and sexual assault. It’s so so hard to take your power back after it’s been stripped from you like that. And even harder to be vulnerable again when you’ve been violated in the past.
That’s why I’m afraid to watch Episode 12. I know what’s coming.
I get incredibly self conscious when I write because it’s like there’s a psychoanalyst/literary critic/big-fat-bully in my head reading every word and judging my tone and choice of words and run on sentences and moral core fibre.
I hear the voices of all the people who’ve ever called me names, that I sometimes believe, whispering in my ear.
But yet there’s another part of me punching the air in triumph saying YES. THIS IS YOU. YOU’VE FOUND IT. THIS IS YOUR VOICE, YOUR PLACE, YOUR PLATFORM.
And I get addicted to that high. That struggle between
The fear of someone reading my words and casting their judgement and pressing unfollow, saying to themselves “this person is self absorbed and neurotic and dot dot dot”
And the bold little part of me that ignites the SO WHAT revolution.
Sadly this is the battle I’ve been fighting for 6 years on this blog (Founded 26 May 2011) and much longer in my mind.
And I’m starting to think that both these fragments are missing the point.
It’s like that episode of Mr Robot where Elliot plays a chess game with himself and keeps reaching a stale mate.
Eventually I have to stop playing war games.
(And just now there’s that voice saying “you sound crazy”)
(And that thought that wants me to explain that I don’t really hear voices at all)
I had two (more) job interviews this week, and I thought I did pretty okay at them but I didn’t get either one.
That’s like 1) Cork 2) Loughrea 3) Builders 4) Shopify 5) Failte
5 interviews where I did not get the job.
And I’m left wondering what I’m doing wrong or if I come across as unlikable or suck at words or something. Or if there just happens to be someone more qualified and suitable than me every time.
What do I do? Do I keep trying at being me and hope that the right one comes along eventually? Do I shake things up every now and then, refresh my CV, ask for feedback, take suggestions on board?
What about a combination of both approaches?
I’m getting tired thinking about it. But I don’t think it’s getting me down as much as it would have a few years ago.
I’m starting to realize that it’s impossible to take full responsibility for your successes and failures, because choosing between the right thing and what feels right is often an exercise in futility.
Not to mention the clashing intersections between your view of the world and the view of others.
Like Baz says:
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s
Sometimes that you could be doing all the right things and Lady Luck might still take her time to shine her lil’ light on you.
Sometimes.
I guess I’ll just start every day anew, and take in the view on the way.
Reckless abandon.
(via flannel)
When you’re afraid that people wont like the weird you
But you’re not even sure if you are the weird you
When you’ve developed this weird coping mechanism in social situations where you repeat the same jokes at your own expense, because you know they get a laugh every time, but they are slowly starting to erode your soul.
Hashtag just girly things.
Source: izen0ugh
I grew out of the “love lasts forever” facade after my first heartbreak.
But everytime I still hope
That this friend is going to be the one who will always be by my side.
I try to believe that if they can accept me as I am,
Everything else will fall into place.
We are told that we are not ready for love until we are ready to love ourselves.
Maybe we are not ready for friends until
We become friends to ourselves.
Source: wordscanbeenough